Looking Forward-

Soon enough January will be upon us again.  Some of us love it and some of us hate it.  In our culture, the resolution bit is pretty inescapable.  That pesky little list that you either make or do not make, but somehow cannot escape from discussing with everyone from the person at the water cooler to your mother in law, with their various levels of judgment assessed along the way.  To get myself over the hump of making the list and getting through the mini-inquisitions, this year I find myself turning to an unlikely historical reference.

The Romans worshipped a god named Janus apparently with such reverence that the first month of our modern calendar commemorates this ancient myth.  When depicted, Janus’ picture features two faces:  one that looks one way and one that looks in the opposite direction.  Seems fitting, even without much research, for Janus to remind us to look forward and to look back during the month that bears this name as we resolve to resolve. Ironically though, most of us probably are not looking for areas in which to resolve some change or alteration.  We already know what they are, they sometimes haunt us the whole year for goodness sake, and we efficiently use Janus’ month to help us along on our list of resolutions.  Inevitably, at the end of one year and at the prospect of the next, we find ourselves engaged in the beginning of the year “resolution” conversation.  So, recently when I started talking to my friends and acquaintances, I was surprised that a few of them wanted to update their will and had this at the top of their list.  Good idea for them, and for the rest of us.

The subject of wills has come up for me three times in my life.  My first husband, Eric, died at a very young age, in an accident, without a will.  We were so young though that it did not really matter.  We had nothing.  He was just back from Viet Nam, and he was happy to have a warm bed and a change of clothes that was not wet.  His shoes finally were dry, except when he chose them not to be, and most nights, there was a hot dinner, and a soft couch, a refrigerator with some little sweet dessert, and then the prospect of a new day without “being shot at.”  So, besides a few clothes, some war memorabilia, and his medals, there was nothing formally to bequeath to his 5 week old daughter Thia, or to me. It was with Eric’s death that I first pondered the need for these things, these documents that signaled the plan for the end of life, and the preparation for it.

After he was gone, I was alone with Thia.  Although I had no plans of dying, it had become clear, in the ultimate way, that thinking I had much to do with it was foolhardy.  There was just too much chance to leave the planning to some other time.  I had to plan for my daughter, just in case. Plus, I had some big designs for my future.  I better have a will.  It was bad enough for Thia to be without her father, I did not want her to be without resources.  I also resolved that Thia’s college tuition would never be in jeopardy.  If she wanted to go, the money would be there.  So, off I went in search of someone who could help me plan for our future.

Thirty three years later, I think about wills again. I think about them for two reasons:  my clients and my family.  With regard to my clients, sometimes they think about estate planning when they have received a settlement.  Other times, they come to me specifically with some sort of an estate planning need or project in mind. My family, like many is a mixed bag.  Some of them have planned very well, some not at all.  I tell all the clients and all the family the same thing.  Do it.  Do it now.

When I have helped a person finalize their will, whatever their original reason for doing so, when the signatures are completed, a similar scene plays out.  Without exception, the person turns to me and says: “I am so glad I finally did this.  Thank you for your help.”  This is true no matter what their stage in life, whether or not they have children, how much they have acquired or whatever the original driving force had been.

I like it when this happens.  It means that my clients have overcome their excuse for avoiding the task.  Of course, their excuses are not unlike a lot of people’s excuses.  For instance, “If I start this will process, I will have to deal with uncomfortable subjects with my family, and with my friends.”  Well, it will be a whole lot more uncomfortable for folks without your help. I urge them, particularly if they are elderly, to make the critical decisions about life support measures while they can still describe what they want and take an active part in creating it.  I remind them of Terry Schiavo, and the painful difficulties surrounding her last months.  I tell them that discussions alone with someone you trust, and who loves you, do not insure that your wishes will be carried out.  Take the time to consider what you want, and whom you will trust with these final requests.  Then commit it to writing, memorialize it.  Note:  The Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment (POLST) form was revised in the past two years and accomplishes two purposes.  First, it translates the wishes of an individual into actual physician orders; and second, it is portable from one care setting to another.  (See Washington State Medical Association – Patient Brochures.)

Another excuse is that a will reminds people of the end of their life, something so wrought with uncertainty that there is nothing they could do to adequately plan for it.  True, thinking about your own mortality can be unsettling.  But using planning documents actually gives people a sense of control even in the face of that uncertainty.  They become a road map for the family and friends, which provides guidance.  And, their estate documents will simplify a stressful time because someone will be designated to take charge.

Some people have put off the process for months or years because their affairs are a mess, and this is embarrassing.  Estate planning is the perfect opportunity to clean all of that up.  Combing through the detritus of icky finances, failed projects, and outdated documents really gives them a clean start.  It shows their family how much they care.

Here are a few other reasons why it is a good idea to initiate estate planning or update your own.

1.      Consider the case of an acquaintance of mine whose brother died intestate.  He was fairly young and so probably assumed that he would have plenty of time to prepare these documents.  He fell at work though, and suffered fatal injuries.  He had no children and his parents had died.  He had been married, but then separated, never divorced.  This estranged spouse became the sole beneficiary of his estate, which included expensive vintage cars and a coin collection.  He also owned a residence.  Because he did not think of himself as rich, and not in need of a will, his wife walked away with many things the sister told me he had promised to her.

2.      Have you forgotten what happened after Ted Williams’ death?  Apparently he wanted to be cremated, but his son and daughter overrode him and had his remains frozen for potential future use, like cloning.  His third child, another daughter, fought this because she wanted his wishes carried out.  Ultimately this third daughter gave up the legal battle because she just could not manage to fund it.  Had Mr. Williams made things absolutely clear, in writing, he would likely have been put to rest off the coast of Florida, which was his wish.

3.      One last example is that of Florence Griffith Joyner, who dropped dead of a heart attack at age 38.  Although her family members were almost certain that she had completed a will, it could not be located.  The state distributed her possessions according to law, leaving many of her family members out of the circle of distribution

In order to adequately ensure that assets are distributed according to the wishes of the person creating a will, help see that the documents are completed and safeguarded.  An attorney who assists in this type of project has a unique opportunity to build a suitable approach for any possible situation.  The following are some worthwhile Internet resources for you or your client:

1. For Planning Your Estate Basics, go to http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov;
2. For obtaining information about the new POLST form, go to http://www.wsma.org/patients/polst.html;

I wonder how Janus would have planned.  Bet he would have been looking backward through his life at his loved ones, and then forward as well, with a plan in hand for the important people in his sphere.  Good idea for him, good idea for us.  It is the way I like to think about it anyway.

If you would like more information on this topic, please join us for a free seminar on November 17^th. More information can be found on the snoqualmieridge.org community events calendar.

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